Here is a question we have received from one of our readers. We will give a few tips to help solve the problem.
My child sees the pediatrician on Thursday. We went last year for similar things but it is way worse now … I am just scared he is going to push us aside again. I really need help with him. It’s really bad now … and I am scared the doctor is just going to say what he said last time that he can’t do anything until school age … any tips to get the doctor to take us seriously this time … I know sometimes parents just have a difficult child and have trouble with defiance sometimes (which is a normal child behavior at that age) but this is different we have had to take our youngest to the hospital on a few occasions he tries to cut his friends with sharp objects it is so bad that we have a hard time even going to the park or doing anything as a family… (good news is he shows remorse after the fact but it has gotten to be really dangerous in our house) like we had to show my three year old how to lock our bedroom door so he can protect himself. It’s like my four year old blacks out and can’t control it .
First of all, 100% supervision is required. A 3 year old cannot protect themselves.
- Take video if you can. Document document document.
- Tell the doctor you KNOW this is not normal behavior. You can also call your school district and refer him yourself for early intervention.
- Reach out center for kids. They have walking days. Go .. and tell them all this. Be strong and tough. Fight for him. Your pediatrician does not have the right to say wait. You are in a crisis. Insist.
- Ask your mother in law for a reference to a behaviorist at minimum and then find a good developmental pediatrician in your area. You have to be an advocate for your children. If you feel that your pediatrician is not taking you seriously, you either have to push him to give you the referral or find a new pediatrician. Any doctor worth his/her salt will never say no to a second opinion or to see a specialist.
- Try to find what calms him (swinging, ball pit, heavy work…) Catch him doing something good and praise, praise, praise. OT could be a life changer and also researching how to parent for him.
- Try to get a referral to a Developmental Pediatrician, who will often work with pediatric neuropsychologists and psychiatrists and psychologists.
- Read about DMDD and see if this fits your child. Your pediatrician may not be all that familiar with it but perhaps it could start a conversation to get him seen by a mental health professional. Also, eventually, ask about gene-sight testing (cheek swab that matches pharmaceuticals with your child’s genetic make up & tell you which are likely to be metabolized best or worst — my daughter was prescribed a drug that was a disaster and sure enough it wasn’t expected to be metabolized well.
- Go see a child psychiatrist. Also, request an early intervention evaluation through your school district for services and that will get the ball rolling. And he can do something before school age.
